To mothers considering adoption,
I am a mother who actually went through the adoption process in order to give my beautiful baby girl the chance at the life she deserved. Adoption is not right for all mothers and in the end you really have to search your own feelings and pray for God’s guidance. Place it in God’s hands and you will know what is right for you.
Nothing will ever make me believe Anna Beth [my baby] was a mistake. She is a princess sent to me from God. I knew I could never give her the life she deserved. I am a young adult trying to go to college and don’t have the finances to take care of her.
Also, many adoptive families are more than happy to let you be a part of the child’s life. I could not ask for a better family for Anna Beth than the one she is with right now. While they do live in a different state, they send me pictures and letters letting me know everything she is going through. I write her and the family, it is a really neat situation.
As a soon to be mother, I know you are going through a plethora of emotions. (At least I was.) I am not going to tell you I know what you are going through because, truth be told, everyone handles things differently. I can tell you my feelings and thoughts about my choices during my pregnancy and how much Christian Family Services helped me.
Adoption was an amazing process and I am more than happy with my decision. However, it is not all glamorous. I was so petrified during my pregnancy and had no one to lean on. Not my family, friends, or even a stranger. [This mother reached out to Christian Family Services after the birth of her child] I would definitely recommend you talk to the agency during your pregnancy, so that at least you have someone to give you guidance and advice. They are not judgmental at all; they are truly Christians, some of the first I have seen in a long time.
I struggled with my decision for a long time. I had moments when I would just sit on the floor by my closet and cry for hours upon hours. I also had moments when I was extremely happy with my decision and knew it was the right one, not for me, but for her. She would now have the opportunities she deserved. During the moments when I was at my breaking point, I would just wonder why and how could this happen to me… I had only messed up one time and I had friends who did this all the time. Things just did not make sense to me.
One amazing thing about God is that He is patient and does not get angry with you. I would get this feeling of security when I did this, like someone was holding me in their arms. I know beyond a doubt that feeling was God strengthening me. Without Him and my teddy bear there is no way I could have made it. I would probably be in a manically depressed mental state. Just trust in Him. Ask Him what you should do. He knows what is best. If you aren’t sure what He is telling you, give it time, God does things on His time line, not ours.
Whatever your reasons for thinking you cannot care for the baby, like he or she deserves, be it financial, family situations, etc. Just trust in God and talk to the adoption agency.
The people at CFS are amazing. They were a gift from God for me.
May God bless you, your decision, and your baby,
A mom who has been there!
Here is a verse that holds strong meaning to me and helped me through a lot of hard times:
“For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the LORD,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.”
This is the last of a two part blog from a Birth Mother’s letter to Christian Family Services.