Adoption sounds pretty straightforward: Single woman has a child but doesn’t want him/her; Man and Woman want a child; Woman gives her child to Man and Woman; New Forever Family lives happily ever after. Now those of you who are part of the adoption triad or who work in the adoption field are probably cringing at this point, and now the rest of you are wondering why they are cringing. It’s because that thought process is full of inaccurate statements and adoption myths. The truth and reality is nowhere near that simple. The world of adoption is a complicated, intricate, emotional, loving, heartbreaking and beautiful world.
First of all, it is not only single, or even unmarried women who choose to place their child for adoption. There are many women with loving and devoted boyfriends, fiancés and husbands who choose this option. Some women and couples may even have other children they are currently raising. Secondly, it is not because a woman “doesn’t want” her baby. Of course she wants her baby! If “wanting” were all it took to raise a child these women would not be going down this road. However, current life circumstances, whatever they may be, make raising a child difficult, and like all parents, birth moms want the absolute best for their child. They want them to have what they can’t provide, whether that means financial stability, a safer home or two parents. They may want to make sure their other children don’t “suffer” the financial strain they may be under if they were to raise this baby. There is absolutely nothing wrong or selfish about a mother choosing adoption.