Choosing an Adoptive Family is typically one of the most anticipated parts of the adoption process for an expectant mom. Often times, we have to encourage her to slow down, take a breath, and trust that we will get there. Trust she will be able to choose and meet the family. There’s plenty of time for all of that to happen.
When meeting with expectant moms, we like to approach things a little differently than a lot of agencies. Rather than show her adoptive family profiles right away, we meet with her, get to know her, learn about why she’s considering adoption, inform her of available resources she may have access to if she were to parent, learn what she’s looking for in a family, etc.
We wait because first and foremost, we are a ministry to moms.
We want her to have all the information about parenting and adoption, and understand the finality of adoption, before she chooses a family. We don’t want the added pressure and heartache of “I already chose someone” to prevent her from doing what she believes is best for her and her child. Especially if it’s because she hadn’t had a chance to really think about it and understand what all adoption means. We also don’t want our prospective adoptive families to experience that heartache that they wouldn’t have felt if we had just waited to learn more about the expectant mother’s situation.
So, when we have counseled with a mom, and she knows her options and resources, and is ready to choose an Adoptive Family, it can be very exciting for her! That’s how a mom we recently showed profiles felt.
From the moment “Erin” was handed the first profile, she was just over the moon excited and ready to see it! Of course there were nerves and apprehension at first of, “How will I know?” But after seeing them, she understood. And she knew right away who the “right” family was.
Erin kept repeating over and over. “This is so neat. This is super neat.”
She also said, “I get to bless somebody and bring them joy and happiness. This makes me so happy! A lot of people can’t have kids. I love that I’m bringing someone joy.”
After looking at all the profiles, she “just knew” who the right adoptive family was. She said she “had a feeling” with one in particular that she just couldn’t feel with the others. It was this feeling she “couldn’t explain.”
This feeling Erin was talking about, is something we hear most women talk about when they’re looking at profiles and choosing an adoptive family. As Christians, we at CFS believe that is God leading her to the best choice for her and her child, and filling her with peace about her decision.
If you’re pregnant and considering adoption, know there is time for you to choose an adoptive family, even if you are already 8-9 months along. While we typically like to wait, we have met with moms 2 weeks from their due date, and even at the hospital after the baby is born, and they have still been able to choose and meet the family before going home from the hospital.
Every person is different. Every situation is different. So every adoption is different.
Names changed for privacy